How to Not Be Shy Around People
A Look at How to Not Be Shy Around People
The main reason for anyone wanting to learn how to not be shy is to learn how to not be shy around people – and that’s the real issue with shyness. Not only do you not want to be around strangers and people that you’ve never met but a lot of people will actively make excuses to avoid spending time with people they actually do know, especially if there is any risk of further social exposure with people they don’t know.
Learning How to Not Be Shy Around People
We’ve mentioned before, that some people are born with a higher probability of being shy. It’s just built into our DNA. It’s also likely that at at least one point, without realizing it, you learned that shyness was a good idea during childhood. It doesn’t need to be anything dramatic or memorable, but even the smallest incident where you were told to be quiet can enforce the idea that being outward is not the way you should behave – and in the lower subconscious levels of your brain you remember this.
But this doesn’t mean you’re a ‘shy person’
I think I’ve used this example before, but it’s worth using again. Are you actually shy around your family? Are you shy around people you’ve known for years when it’s just the two of you? No, of course not. There’s actually no such thing as a ‘shy person’ it’s just in certain situations you’ve inadvertently trained yourself to be shy.
You can learn how to not be shy. Learning how to overcome shyness is certainly not done overnight and I’m afraid there’s no magic pill you can swallow but there are certainly things you can do to change the parts of your shyness you don’t like. You can turn your life around easier than you probably think.
A Guide on How to Not Be Shy Around People
The problem with all of these guides and books on ‘how to not be shy’ is they think (and they tell you) you can stop being shy by pushing yourself out there and forcing yourself into situations you don’t want to be in.
It’s kind of like just saying to someone suffering from shyness:
Just get over it
And I don’t agree with this practice at all. Learning how to overcome shyness is actually a daily struggle for a lot of people (more than you probably think) and basically telling people to push themselves and ‘get over it’ isn’t the right way to deal with things.
Sure you can take a punt at it, and it might work for some people but for the majority of people you’re actually just making things worse.
Shyness exists because the lower levels of your brain (the amygdala) exists to try and protect you. It has learned to fear social settings for example and no matter how many times you try and tell yourself ‘what’s the worst thing that can happen?’ you can’t use logic and reason with this level of brain function.
It reacts and learns from experience so the trick to learning how to not be shy, is actually to learn how to trick this lower level thinking into understanding social situations differently. It’s not that you have to change yourself or who you are, but if you understand how people think socially that’s all you need.
If you’re looking to learn how to overcome shyness easily take our Truth About Shyness training. It’s the exact training I’ve used myself and I promise if it doesn’t change your life you can hold me personally accountable. I was shy myself, I learned how to not be shy and it was entirely down to the lessons in that training.